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Heart, hope, hate

Dear everybody reading this,

Hugs. Ouch. Bigger hugs.

Last Monday I took my goals charts off the walls of my bedroom, so I could paint them the delightful shade of brown you see behind me (photo below). Since Tuesday, I haven’t had the heart to put them back up. Today I’m taking my time and slowly sticking my goals back on the wall. There are some new ones to add, now. I tell you what, witnessing this ramp-up to authoritarian, dictator-style rulership really drains a “muslim-looking” Gay Homosexual Brown Transgender Man.


If you think that’s a mouthful to say, imagine living in it. I have felt overwhelmed by my emotions this week in a way that reminds me of how I have felt when my mother was in the ICU for 7 weeks and how I felt right after 9/11.

The most pain for me right now comes from the silence I have heard from people who have seen me grow up and who have grown up alongside me.

In the past few days, I have also felt deep connection with many people both in and out of those categories. I feel grateful for all the love we’ve exchanged and pray that we continue to love and grow together.

Anyway, only one flipchart paper of goals has made it up on the walls so far, so I’d better see to it. If the creek stays put and the stars do, too, I’ll have some new creative work to share with you soon.




artist (music/poetry/film) with a day job (non-profit finance/operations) in the bay area.

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